WHY OH WHY...

DID THEY KILL BODIE ON THE WIRE????? and WHYYYYYYYY my boy michael the one that did it??? AND WHYYYYYYYYYY is comcast the devil for letting people on demand it early??????

Random is as random does

I AM FINALLY FINISHED TRAINING!!!!!!!!!! woo hooooooo!!! took my last test today and passed. I am so glad to finally be done with training.

but my joy is not complete because my baby (My dog Lily) was hit by a car on Monday and died. my mom buried her for me and planted a flower bush over the grave... my insensitive ass cousins laughed at me for crying but she was really like my child and I miss her immensely. eff you if you don't understand.

My ex-friend Diddy (the chick with me in this funny ass incident) is crazy... well she is crazy for a lot of reasons but mainly because she moved to maryland with the dude she met on the internet (black planet of all places) and well I worry about her.

so I have decided to take a break on the whole dating thing. I am convinced that the philly metro area has NO available normal men my age so I am gonna chill and just see what happens. I am not brave enough or beat enough to try internet dating sooooooo I'll be happily single.

bytches are haters... so two girls in my training class apparently had a problem with me but couldn't tell me what it was. I asked them point blank and the one (who is 32 btw) was like oh let me think... WTF??? if you got beef with me what do you have to think about? to this day I don't know what their problem was so I chalk it up to jealousy. jealous of what? well I dunno... you can't really tell from this blog but I have a very BIG..... personality (LOL) and i guess some people misunderstand me. now the important thing is that I really don't give a damn. I just thought it was amusing that these broads were talking to me planning a shopping trip one day and then hating on me the next. whatever... I'm used to being hated on and it is usually by people that have their own issues. punkasses

I might be going to jail *smh*... those of u that read this back in the day when I actually updated regularly may remember my numeroud traffic court problems... well they are back.. same ish, different municipality! LOL! one of the few that I haven't been to in south jersey... humph.

ooooooh the MAC store in my local mall had some private shopping event that I got an invite to and the invite said FREE cocktails so I had to go! I was allowed to bring a guest so I brought my sometimes friend (pink shoes/scrabble girl) and we drank up they liquor! LOL! but I did get a Mahogony liner and Decorative Lustreglass. and some pigment I forget the name of but it is part of their new colors and it is hot to death.... I think I need to go out this weekend so I can wear it.

oh and WHY is VH1 giving New York her own show???? ANd more importantly WHY must I watch it! LOL! I am gonna hate myself but I must watch it!

men suck

man.... I had to retreat from the world for a minute. so yeah my ex-fiancee is still getting married (that bastid) and his BYTCH actually had the nerve to step to me like I did something wrong. well correction... she said something slick out her car window but would not get out her car when she realized I was going to bundle her punk @ss. the ex is officially a p-word and a hairless one at that!! but that is another story altogether.

other than that... 2 short and I are retarded. I really like him even though he gives me his @ss to kiss 50% of the time. he is ignorant as h-ll and I can't stand it. like seriously I can't stand it but I like the lil nig so it's hard for me to stay away. I hate being single.

I ran into my crush from 10th grade the other day... we exchanged #'s... went out twice... seemed to hit it off but then I haven't heard from him since. he might be back with his baby momma... who knows. that shyt is shady though... he could have at least called a biatch. so what does that mean? was us hitting it off all in my head? did I scare him off talking about the big crush I had on him?? who knows... I HATE DATING!! why do we have to play these games?? why why WHY... if you like me and I like you why can't we hang out, have fun, and be real. ARGH!

other whack ass dudes I met:
1- colored contacts... ok I meet this dude in a club and he is really attractive and seems to be an ok dancer... so we meet up a few nights later at a different club and lo and behold... he was wearing some dayum colored contacts... now call me shallow but that is a bit suspect. and he tried to be TOO DAYUM DEEP at 4 am at the diner. it ain't that serious homey. uhg. he gets no calls

2-norf jerzee... so I meet this dude at a wedding and he was cute-ish. really nice smile. his brother called me and told me he wanted to take me out so I said what the heck... why not. yeah this dude is a fibber... well he seemed like a fibber... that is no good. he is an artist and a darn good one at that but he was way too into me and way too touchy feely. i was in two words---> not beat

why can't I meet someone in my age group that is not crazy, no kids (or only one over 4 yrs old), decent job or at least aspirations to obtain a decent job, who doesn't feel like playing the dating games that everyone other than me seem to enjoy so much?? oh yeah, also must not be afraid of crazy jamaicans because that is my whole family.

LAWD HELP ME!

*I am still homeless...
*i am stalked by losers and cornballs
*the dude i actually like has a phd in asshole-nomics and hurts my feelings at least once a week (albeit unintentionally 90% of the time but still)

argh

the biggest betrayal

I am seriously soliciting prayers right now... I need EVERYONE to pray for me that I do not burn somebody's house down!
why oh why is my ex-fiancee about to get married to the new chick?? My brain is not even comprehending this right now. we have been broken up for 5 mutha effin months... is he serious?? i was with him for 8 and a half years... I will fight him if I see him! he didn't even have the decency to tell me himself... he tells my cousin... over the phone. my cousin called his brother because he was pissed and wanted his bro to calm him down... his bro calls their mom, their mom (my aunt) calls her daughter who calls my mom who calls me. I text that bastid to see if it is true. DO YOU KNOW he had the gall to tell me that yes it was true and "things are really working out between us".... WTFFFFFFFF!! it's been 5 months... of course things are working out @sshole! what an idiot. I had to remind him that it worked out for us to for the first 7 years... what a moron. I am so annoyed\hurt\angry. i tried to be the bigger person so I did tell him congratulations but I hope he gets the clap and all his eyelashes fall out. I hope that he gets chronic diarrhea and ulcers in his anus. i hope his penis burns with the fire of 1000 suns. I can't even write anymore...

I finally did it...

Well actually, my lil sis actually did it. Did what you ask? Created a Myspace page... so I know I am way behind on the times and everyone and their great grandmama already got a myspace page AND I swore I would never get one... but I did. and here it is

jirzy's myspace

I still have lots to update...
good news: I passed my first mastery test for the new position... 3 weeks b4 next test so that is guaranteed 3 more weeks of nice checks! LOL!

so I lied...

I don't have time to update but here is a pic from when we went to Tragos...



and this is tat passed out at the borgata...



hopefully, I will update tomorrow

UPDATE TOMORROW!!

So I started sales training, too short met my family, I had to cuss the ex out (it was bad)and he has another one coming to him (basically, if i see him in the SKREETS i will punch him in the face)... I don't have time to really get into it now because my class starts in 9 minutes but I will update tomorrow...

CELEBRATION!!

soooooooo today is my last day in this department!!! PRAISE YE THE LORD!!! I woke up this morning happy as a clam... this is my last day in the ghetto... I's movin on up! I have orientation for my new position tomorrow and then I start training on Monday... only drawback is that my training is going to be 2:30-10 pm. BUT I AM OUT OF THE HOOD!! woooo hoooo...

on another note... I think I want a motorcycle... something cute and easy to handle. I am gonna take a course in sept so I am looking for something between now and then. any suggestions?

I'm smitten...

i don't even know when it happened but I have a serious crush on too short. he is a strange lil man but he just is who he is and I am beat. could it be luv?? (LUV not LOVE- there is a difference... maybe I'll explain in next post... but then again maybe I won't). so i think it is time for him to meet the fam... we've been dating about 3 almost 4 months and neither of us is dating anyone else currently.... i don't know if he is ready to meet the crazy jamaicans but I guess we will see. i already warned him the my cousins will threaten his life! LOL!
anyways this weekend was interesting... friday i didn't do much... drank and decided to get a piercing at 2 am but everywhere was closed (definitely a good thing... I am too old for that ish).
Saturday was my lil cousin's 3rd b-day party... as with all Jamaican functions, an innocent lil b-day party turned into an all out PARTY! complete with my dad's fabulous rum punch. My oldness was reinforced once again by the fact that I can not pick up these new dances... back in the day I would need to see a dance once and i would have it down... NOW... yeah right. so there is this Dutty wine dance that looks CRAZY! like basically looks like you are TRYING to fling you r head off your neck... see!
I think I will leave that for the young hoochies in the world... My lil sisters and their friends did teach me the wu-tang dance... i killed it! LOL!
Saturday night I went out with Dee and my lil sis and her baby daddy and our other friend "chanel". tat (the drunk from AC) and another chick were supposed to meet us out at a spot in Center City called Tragos. Me, Dee, and Chanel are in Philly when Tat calls and says there is a state of emergency in Center City and they found 10 people dead. So of course we panic like what are you talking about and she said she saw this on the news... so we put the news on in the car and heard nothing... we decided to take our chances because we were already in center city and people were out walking around like normal. we went and had a good time... I drank a plethora of kamikazes and coronas and showed off my new dance moves and got numbers! LOL! so anyway come to find out, tat was not entirely making it up... there was 10 people murdered in Philly on Sat night... 10 people...1 night.... that is crazy! and people always talking about Camden. what is the world coming to??

okay I just had to throw this on here because this young boy is killin it.

LMAO! not funny but funny... this doc is gangsta

News
07/06/2006 23:06:14 EST
Court Says Stop Case Against Rude Doctor

By DAVID TIRRELL-WYSOCKI
Associated Press Writer

CONCORD, N.H. - A judge has ordered the state Board of Medicine to stop disciplinary proceedings against a doctor accused of telling a patient she was so obese she might only be attractive to black men and advising another to shoot herself following brain surgery.
Judge Edward Fitzgerald made clear in a ruling released Thursday that he did not condone remarks attributed to Dr. Terry Bennett and found them unnecessary, but ruled Bennett had a right to speak bluntly.

"It is nonetheless important ... to ensure that physicians and patients are free to discuss matters relating to health without fear of government reprisal, even if such discussions may sometimes be harsh, rude or offensive to the listener," he concluded in the ruling Wednesday.

The complaints against Bennett included charges that he told a white patient that she was so obese she might only be attractive to black men.

"Let's face it, if your husband were to die tomorrow, who would want you?" the board has said Bennett told the overweight patient in June 2004. "Well, men might want you, but not the types you want to want you. Might even be a black guy," it quoted him as saying, based on the woman's complaint.

Bennett, 68, has denied making the comment, but has said he's seen polls supporting that position.

"If you look at the polling, nobody likes fat women," he said last year. "Is it right? No. Is it sensible? No. Is it true? Yeah ... Black guys are the only group that don't mind that. Is that racist to say that?"

A 2001 complaint accused Bennett of telling a woman recovering from brain surgery to buy a pistol and shoot herself to end her suffering. The doctor was also accused of speaking harshly to a woman about how her son might have contracted hepatitis, according to the ruling.

Bennett claimed victory.

"The question now is: Will the board waste more of your and my tax dollars and appeal this, or accept done as done?" he said in a telephone interview.

Fitzgerald also ruled that state and American Medical Association requirements to treat patients with "compassion and respect for human dignity and rights" are so vague they are unconstitutional. Bennett probably would have won his challenges before the board, the judge said.

Bennett said he planned to sue everyone involved for "malicious prosecution."

"I am not inclined to be forgiving about it," he said. "It's been devastating and infuriating."

Assistant Attorney General Elyse Alkalay, who represented the board in the court case, said she was reviewing the ruling and had not decided whether to appeal.

Bennett could have faced penalties ranging from a written reprimand to suspension or revocation of his medical license.




If this ain't some IGNANT ish... I don't know what is! HA!

soooo tired

I have gotten approx. 4 hours of sleep in the past three days. I am going to crash... and it is going to be bad! yesterday I mad it through work on a starbucks italian roast iced coffee and red bull... and what really sucks is I won't be getting sleep til tomorrow night at the earliest. oh the things I would do for a pillow right about now...

some pics from saturday

kamikazes and peach stoli

Let's start with Friday night...
me and a few friends from work decided to go to AC afterwork in lieu of the normal happy hour... b4 leaving we drank a bottle and a half of peach stoli between 3 of us... we were TIPSY!
We started out at WildWild West.... yeah, I ain't win crap... one of my friends tat was on the penny slots (who has patience for thAT shyt?? NOT I) and was actually winning... but then the effects of the alcohol kicked in and she ended up leaving with 15 cents... we left wildwild west and was going to catch the jitney (shuttle sytem between casinos) to the mother of all casinos... the Borgata (cue angels singing heavenly music AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH)
while waiting for the Jitney, some lady walked past us with a BIG ASS BOTTLE of Hennesy sticking out her bag. Tat is like, "I want some of that!!" and proceeds to chase the lady a block and a half. I am not making this up... tat, a lil asian chick in flip flops, chased an older lady a block and a half for some henny. she didn't catch her though. thank goodness. so we finally decided to just drive down to the borgata cuz all the jitneys were full.
now the borgata is the best dayum casino in Atlantic City if you ask me... no one ever really wins except for J.Lo's momma
but it is really very nice and it is my favorite.
that's enough about that... we had fun... tat was beyond drunk...

Saturday, I went on down to DC for this Que boat ride aboard the Spirit of Washington that I've been talking about for the past week or so. it was AIGHT. nothing to write home about but I did have fun. It was apparently OLD MAN talk to Jirzy night... cuz everyone that stepped to me was 45 or better... hit to my ego but oh well... I did get quite a few kamikazes out of it. and with lots of kamikaze comes lots of dancing. LOL... I was dancin' dancin' DANCIN' (dun dun dun) I'm a dancing machiiiiiiine!! How do I know... because more than one person advised me of this! LOL! Once the house music came on... it was a wrap! me and the girls I went with took over the floor (PHILLY STYLE). Man, I was perculatin' like there was no tomorrow... I had to show them how we do in Philly (sidebar: why is the perculator even still played? it is about as old as I am). we were doing all the old school dances just because that's how we do and well I blame it all on the alcohol... I was doing the kid n' play in high heels... these heels to be exact

and now I think my legs are gonna fall off... WTF was I thinking?? I ain't a spring chicken... my old chubby azz perculating and doing the running man and ish like it's 1992... I think I pulled a muscle... I am gonna go soak in some epsoms salts.

holla

TGI mutha effin F

well... it's friday... and I am off to AC to get my gamble on with the little bit of $$ I have!! Mama need a new pair of shoes!
I'll be at the progressive slots if anyone needs me...

if I don't update on Monday about my trip to DC this weekend, it's safe to assume one of two things happened...
either
1- I lost everything I own and some of what I don't own in AC and jumped off the Borgata

or

2- I was abducted by a muscle-a-fied (sound it out) Que and am tied up in a room in a remote location and am being used as a love slave...

if 2 is the case then don't look for me! LOL!!

Have a good weekend!! KETTLE ONE HERE I COME!!!

grumpy grumperson... that's me

so I am going to DC this weekend for some Que boatride... I am not into the whole greek thing but I think it will be fun. The only advice I got so far to keep the girls covered up and all will be well.

now 2 short is confusing me once again... i just don't know where I stand with him and I don't know if I care to find out. Like I think I do because we have a lot of fun when we are together but he is just hot and cold... (bipolar maybe?) here is an excerpt fron an email he sent me: "im still sorry you know i want you to feel that ill be there for you .
its just that recently this month my schedule of things to do is very busy.
i do care about how you are doing so please dont feel as though i dont." and when I didn't make a big stink about his assholed-ness (heh heh heh) he sent this... "your so understanding, i love that about you."

humph... whatever

so I think I am gonna try to go dolo on this apt thing. I really don't want to live with anybody. i wish I was a turtle... I would retreat in my shell and be by myself for a while.

The ex is being an ASSHOLIO in regards to dividing the equity in our home we purchased together... right now we have about $80k worth of equity and he thinks I am gonna walk away from my part of that... hell to the nah.
so I have been harrassing him to just so a cash-out refinance and give me my dough... we will never have to speak again. he is really not trying to pay me

yall pray for me because I am on the edge! LOL!

hump day indeed...

I need a roommate ASAP!!! like not now but RIGHT NOW... I actually signed up with Rent.com to look for a roommate... I figure there has to be someone out there semi-normal that is in the same situation as me. I am scared I will end up with a stalker... argh... If I get this sales gig, I will be able to live by myself which is really what I want to do... my life sucks right now... it might be a wrap with lil short boy... he is too sometime-ish. sometimes he likes me and sometimes he is not beat. I don't have the temperament or the patience to deal with that bull so I am not calling him anymore. if he calls me, I'll let him know why...

bah humbug

I don't even like corvettes

couldn't I be a bmw 745 li or sumpin... dayum

I'm a Chevrolet Corvette!

You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

I realize that I am really getting old... okay so 26 is not actually OLD but I feel old. I am just not interested in the BS anymore. Friday night I went out to old city (a section of Philly with lots of bars/clubs) and drank a pitcher of margarita (on the rocks-no salt) and this was after drinking half a bottle of zinfandel so needless to say, I was happy. now had this been a few years ago I would have been going bar to bar dancing my lil butt off but now that I am old, I was perfectly content to go home and go to sleep! however, i was with young heads so I ended up doing the bar hopping thing. at this hole in the wall called Drinkers, there was this drunken white boy who looked like he stepped off of a j crew catalog and was more than a little bit drunk who bought me a drink and so I danced with him... WHYYYYYYY did he try to grab the tatas.... why why why.... well I know why... he was pissy drunk and they are unavoidable... see....


I didn't get mad though... I just pushed him off and laughed and told him he wasn't ready for all these goodies!

so saturday the weather was FANTASTIC and a guy that I work with called me to invite me to a bbq/party. I agreed to go and my 20 year old sis was with me. we picked up another girlfriend and headed over there.... bad idea. first of all... the three of us walk in and ALL EYES were on us... in my head I heard a needle scratch across a record as all noise came to a stop. that's not really what happened but that is how it seemed. everyone in there was smoking... and I ain't talking about newports... and we were seriously amongst a bunch of birds... i literally felt like I had just walked into a scene of "the wire". that shyt looked like "Hamsterdam" minus the geedies (camden term for crackhead) but not necessarily the crack. as much as I hate to assume and sterotype, them ni99as was sho nuff on they hustle. now I am from the hood... raised in Camden which is supposed to be the most dangerous city in the nation, but my first instinct was to turn and leave. But then I spotted W.P. Clucker's ex-best friend (the one that put w.p. clucker's husband's business on BLAST)and as childish as it is, I had to stay to just to annoy her! LOL! I put my life in jeopardy to annoy a chicken... but I am woman enough to admit I was being petty. it was funny though!! but on the real, I am not beat to sit in a house full of ni99as smokin weed and drinking... I just don't need to do that. so I went outside to sit on the step and get some fresh air b4 leaving. Somehow, I ended up in an hour long convo with this young boy... he was only 2 years younger than me but I say young boy because his mentality was that of a 18 year old. He was saying that he HAD to hustle because he didn't finish high school so he is already labeled a criminal. I was trying to tell him he didn't have to put himself in that box society has for him. he can do something with himself. I told him I didn't want to see him in jail or worse dead. I think I was getting through... from our conversation it seemed like no one had ever told him he had an option b4. I can't believe that is true but that is how it seemed. My hour with him really did disturb me. I have been thinking about him ever since, because I really want him to make it. like normally, I would be like eff it, it's your life but for some reason I really feel like i need for him to make it. I don't know if he will and I may never see him again but I am hoping for the best.
anyways, it's monday... got to get to work... bah humbug

WHAT YOU JUST CALL ME??

yall... I am at a crossroads... I don't know whether to pursue this thing with lil short man. I guess I am just frustrated with the fact that I never know where I stand with him. I mean I know he likes me and we spend a lot of time together so that should be enough.... and it would be if he ain't make smart comments all-the-dayum-time. I have a smart mouth and can trade wits with the best of them... but I never really know when he is playing or serious. it. drives. me. batty. on one hand he is super sweet and will call me in the morning when I am on my way to work just to say hi and wish me a good day, but that same afternoon he will say something effed up where I am looking at him sideways like wtf? so last night I went over to his apt. and he is a teacher so he was looking for summer employment. we were talking about life and I don't even know what sparked the argument but we ended up going back and forth for like 5 minutes b4 he said something that made me laugh. and then all was well... we play fought a lil bit and then we were kissing... yall know the routine... well as he was kissing my neck (quite deliciously I might add) the unthinkable ALMOST happened... I almost called him the ex! LOL! I caught myself in the nick of time but that would have been some ish! I guess part of me wants to just chill and have fun but a bigger part of me doesn't want to just date casually. I am just not one of those people that feels the nee dto date a whole bunch of different people. I dunno... I guess I will just chill. I just wish I knew what was going on in his head. I don't get it. ah well... enough about him...
I interview tomorrow morning for the sales position I am trying to get... it is like a $300 increase per week and that is just the base salary...
Apartments in Jersey are waaaaaaaaay too expensive. a 2 bedroom is going for like $950 and that is on the lower end... I may need to look for a roommate even though I really don't want to...
OH and my lil sis has lost her cotton pickin' mind... she is 18 and just graduated from high school. why did she try to go off on my mom?? yall we are Jamaican... west indian families do not consider 18 to be grown... you are grown when you are on your own.... and EVEN THEN, you DO NOT jump bad with your momma. and my mom is unstable. once when I was 17 and was smellin' myself thinking I was grown, she was telling me to do something and I kissed my teeth... I had my back turned to her but I didn't even hear her walk over to me, all I know is I looked up and got SNUCK! LOL! I'm talking about a left hook to the jaw. I couldn't chew right for 3 days. so needless to say my lil sis definitely must be smokin dem tweeds or something because she jumped bad with my mom and my mom must have pushed her shoulder... *smh* why did my sis proceed to yell at my mom talking about she is grown and not to hit her. She actually told my mom, "don't put your hands on me, I am an adult!" all I can say is she been around them white folks a tad too long. she went to North East High School in North East Md where there were all of about 30 minorities all together in the entire school for the last two years and apparently forgot who she was. yeah my mom tried to kill her... my other sis (the one who had the baby) had to try to seperate it but she was ready to hurt my other sis too because you just don't do that. so anyway my mom told her if she is grown to get the eff out her house... you get the point. so my sis picks up her cell phone to call someone and my mom was like no put down MY muthaeffin cell phone and get the eff out. My dad is the softee of the pair and so when he got home from work he was all upset that my sis had left. I say she needs a reality check and let her go see what real life is like. she'll be back.

awkward moments and good reads

I am reading this book... "Making Friends With Black People" by Nick Adams... it is hilarious!



In other news....
Hotsauce's (the ex-fiancee) room mate from college is getting married. hotsauce and I are both invited... well hotsauce is in the wedding but I still received an invitation even though hotsauce and I are no longer together. so originally we agreed to come solo but when I agreed to that, I was thinking there was still hope for us to get back together. now that I have no desire to be with him anymore, I don't want to go to the wedding by myself... i am not gonna bring 2 short (the dude i've been seeing) but I do want to bring someone because I will not know anyone there... might be selfish but oh well...

and speaking of selfish... am I wrong for feeling some type of way about the followin?? Hotsauce sent me a text message yesterday asking if I still wanted to keep my dog Lily and I said of course but I have no where to live right now so what would he like me to do... so he then responds that he is giving Kai (our Akita) away because he doesn't have the time to take care of her. now his schedule has not changed much in the past 3 years... we've had Kai for 4 years... how can he just give her away?? i don't understand it. I told him I would take her too because I can't imagine her going to another family... she has allergies and has to eat special food... what if they don't treat her right?? he is an asshole. the good thing is everytime I start to get soft and want to talk to him again, he pulls some shyt like this and reminds me why I left in the first place. BASTID

sooooooooo I'm going on this boat ride in DC in a couple of weeks... it is apparantly a Que function... I am not a greek so I know nothing about nothing... my friend who invited me is a delta and refers to me as a GDI (a got dayum individual) but she assured my I will have fun... yall pray for me. I have heard some stories... so far the advice I've gotten is to keep the girls covered and all should be well... we'll see.

dating circus midgets

so I am dating this guy... and I like him... but he is weird. Maybe not weird but I don't get him. that might be a good thing since I pride myself and being able to figure dudes out and then proceed to have them strung out like dope fiends... but in his case, I am actually having fun trying to see where I fit in in his world. we are both extremely busy so that is good that he has a life and interests and hobbies. So I find myself a little bit beat. This was a semi-blind date/hook-up type deal. my homie dee has known dude since they were like 10 and she took a pic of me to him but I didn't see him b4 meeting him. but he is a cutie... might be a midget though! LOL! he is maybe 5'6" at the most and I am 5'2" so he is still taller than me but still a shrimp. anyway, the one HUGE downfall is that told me his last relationship ain't work out because he had gotten his ex-ex pregnant while with his ex... *cue drama music*
He said that when he first started dating his ex (we'll call her WQ for weave queen... not hating but I know her through someone else and she is the official weave-a-nista... they be tight though) he was still dealing with his previous ex (we'll call her PC for Philly clucker... yes I am hating this time... LOL). He said him and PC had an arrangement that they were not together but they were still friends with benefits... so once things started to get serious with WQ he told PC he wasn't gonna be seeing her anymore and she went off on him and was basically like no she ain't having it. well lo and behold WQ starts popping up at his church and other various places and calling his phone at all hours of the night and all that crazy stalkerish type behavior. So he changed his cell number and that apparently made her even more crazy and he finally told WQ what was going on with PC. so WQ said she understood and it wasn't a big deal because they weren't serious at first and blah blah blah... so anyway a few months go by and he hears through the grapevine that PC is going around saying she is pregnant and it is his so he said he didn't believe her and he called her to meet because he said he hadn't been with her in so long if she was pregnant by him she would have to be showing by that time. He went to see her and she was showing with a lil belly and was about 4 or 5 months pregnant at this time. he acknowledged it could have been his and gave WQ the news... WQ said she would stand by him and she believed him. Anyway everyone is going on with their lives and waiting for the baby to be born to see if it really is his or not when he gets a call from one of his boys saying that PC is no longer pregnant. again he wass not believing that and was thinking she was playing games so he calls her again and arranges to see her and she wasn't pregnant anymore and she told him that she lost it... so he said he had gotten used to the idea of possibly being a father and was actually starting to get excited so when he got the news that she wasn't pregnant anymore he wasn't sure how to react. like he was partly relieved but he couldn't explain why he felt a sense of loss. he said he didn't tell WQ right away because he wanted to get his own thoughts and feelings together first but somehow she found out and confronted him. He told WQ that it was true PC was no longer pregnant and he said she cursed him out and said he is a liar and she was breaking up with him for not telling her.
Now what I don't understand is why break up after she lost the baby. If you gonna leave, you should've left when he first told you she was knocked up.
anyway, I know what you are thinking, why would I continue to talk to him knowing all that... I have a few reasons:
1) I am not gonna judge him on that or hold it against him because we all have our skeletons. I have some stuff in my past that I know if people knew they would hold it against me and I am not that same person anymore... I used to cheat and now I don't because it is not worth all the drama.

2) He didn't have to tell me that because even though I know the ex WQ, we are not anything resembling friendly and chances are I never would have found out... ok I am lying I knew b4 he told me because WQ is good friends with my cousin who got the scoop for me. LOL but still I never told him I knew and he volunteered to tell me without me asking. he could have told me anything but he told me the truth (or at least the truth about getting his ex knocked up)

3) he's a cutie pie and we are very compatible in a strange way... our first phone convo was over 3 hours... and there is just this comfort level that we have that usually would take a long time to achieve.

so I am gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. I got my eyeballs peeled open though because I am not a sucka! I want to believe the best but part of me does feel like a re-re for even giving him a chance. but I am giving him a chance. we'll see how it plays out...

another one of those thingies

Got this from Jenny

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Car pmt/ car insurance
2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
at home
3. Last time you Puked from Drinking?(Details)
not for a while... maybe last year some time
4. When is the last time you got drunk and woke up in a strange place?
never
5. Name of your First Grade Teacher?
I skipped first grade... my second grade teacher's name was mrs. coleman
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
sleeping or shopping
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
a doctor
8.How many colleges did you attend before you settled on the one you graduated from?
uh.... I ain't graduate! heh heh heh
9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
a white wifebeater looking tank... it looked cute with my shorts
10. Gas Prices! First Thought?
bullshizzle
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be and who would you take?
somewhere warm with an oceanview and I would take my puppies
12. First Thought When the alarm went off this morning?
dayum
13. Last thought before Falling asleep last night?
Him is so crazy
14. Favorite style of Underwear?
cotton low rise bikini cut from victoria's secret
15. Favorite style of Underwear for the opposite sex?
boxer briefs
16. What Errand/Chore do you despise?
I hate Dishes and mopping equally
17. If you didn't have to work would you?
hell to the nah
18. Sex or Sleep?
a lot of both... thanks
19. Your Favorite Cartoon Character?
Eeyore
20. Favorite non sexual thing to do at night with a girl/boy?
cuddle and conversate
21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I am addicted to cheez whiz
22. What was your First Car?
92 toyota celica
24. Your Favorite Lunch Meat?
boar's head tavern ham
25. What do you get every time you go into a WAWA?
money from the FREE atm.
26. Beach Or Lake?
Beach
27. Do you think Marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
No
28. Who do you Stalk on myspace?
i don't do the myspace thing
29. Favorite Guilty Pleasure?
reality shows
30. Favorite Movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about.

31. What's your drink?
Kamikaze or vodka and red bull or jager(meister) and red bull or mojitos
32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians
33. Cops or Robbers?
not cops... but not robbers either
34. Do you cheer for the bad guys?
most of the time
35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
uh.... none... maybe someone with freckles... I dunno but dee says I look like chicken little
34. If you had to pick one which cast member of Sex and the City would you be?
the one with all the fabolous manolo blahniks
37. What do you want when you are sick?
sleep and be babied
38. Who from High School would you like to run into?
MALIK WALLACE... heh heh heh
39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
dunno been listening to cd's
41. Stifler or Oz?
what the???
42. Norm or Cliff?
uh.....
43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
The Cosby Show
44. Worst Relationship Mistake that you wish you could take back?
moving in with the fiancee
47. What Famous person would you like to have dinner with? Alive or Dead?
Jesus
49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
nope
50. Last book you read for real? ????
memoirs of a geisha
51. Do you have a teddy bear?
no... stuffed animals are evil...
54. How many times a day do you text?
about 3
55. at this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
both
56. Do you go to church?
faithfully
58. Describe your favorite Day?
sun is out, warm breeze, on a secluded beach sipping something frozen and yummy, not a care in the world
60.How many jobs have you had?
9
61. What would be your "dream job"?
being independently wealthy so I wouldn't need a job

62. What do you want to achieve in life?
to have a rewarding and satisfying career, and have a balanced, loving, God-fearing family, and to see a good amount of the world

how many burnt hotdogs can one person eat??

The weather in the Philly metro area was PERFECT this weekend... and confirmed what I knew all along... weather forecasters don't know ish!! The forecasters were saying it was going to rain on Friday and Saturday. never happened. I am glad though... I really got a chance to get out and enjoy the weekend. So Friday after work I went to a this place called Top Dog for happy hour... it was cool... nothing to brag about. Saturday, went to a BBQ at my friend Tadpole's house and that was really nice left there tipsy and went to see the new guy I've been dating. so I get to his apt and he says he doesn't want to go out because he does not go to the club with women he is seeing... and I am like okaaaaaaay why the hell not? and he says because he made a rule when he was 21 that he would NEVER go to a club with someone he is seeing ever again because of what happened back then. So I was a lil tipsy and you know alcohol will have you saying exactly what is on your mind and well... I did just that.
Me: Are you serious? Please tell me you are joking!!
Him: Yes I am serious. we are who we are based on our previous experiences and I made that decision based on what happened at that time and I have never gone back on that
Me: You mean to tell me you are 29 years old and you are still living by rules you made when you were 21?? I am 26 and I don't live by "rules" I made when I was 21. So what happened that was so traumatic?
Him: I don't want to talk about it.
Me: So you mean to tell me that I am gonna be suffering the repercussions of everything you've ever gone through with every other broad?
Him: When have I ever held the past against you b4?
Me: You are doing it now... who knows what the means for the future. I am not them girls, I am someone completely different. if you don't want to go that is fine but don't try to make it seem like it is because of some life lesson...
*my cell phone rings the t-mobile jingle* and it's my friend who happens to be a dude that was at the BBQ I had just come from.
Me: *answering phone* hey _____ did _____ (pink shoes girl) drop you off yet? I'm trying to see if she still wants to go out tonight.
*him in the background* Hey ______ (being EXTRA because he knew it was a guy)
Me: (to Him)Shut up please... thanks. (to person on the phone) anyway if you talk to (pink shoes girl) tell her to call me because this cornball who's house I'm at doesn't want to go because of some rule he made when he was 21.
Him: Why you got to put my business all out in the streets? how immature is that?? I was gonna go but now I am really not going.
Me: *hangs up with person on the phone then goes off* Are you effing kidding me?? You weren't going anywhere... you just sat here for 20 minutes telling me how you weren't going then all of a sudden you were gonna go but now you aren't going anymore.... yeah right. you are wack... I'm out
Him: alright have a good time...

So I left and SLAMMED the door behind me and he comes to the door like did you just slam my door.
Me: Yeah I slammed it and I will slam it again!!!
Him: Don't be slamming my door like you got a problem.
Me: Whatever

I left and I am driving to Mt. Laurel to pick up my friend to go with me. While I'm driving I get a call from Him asking if I was still mad at him so I said no I was just annoyed so we talked about it and all is well. anyway I ended up not getting to the club until 1:15 and clubs in Philly close at 2. but I did have fun for the few minutes I was there...

Sunday my aunt had a BBQ so I went over there after church... my aunt is one of those people that invite you over for a BBQ and ain't got NOTHING cooked. and you know negros be HONGREE after church... that was fun hanging witht he cousins and my parents came up from MD. other than that Sunday was boring....

Monday was cool... went to the church picnic and the food was pretty good... spent the whole day there and it was cool... then went over Him's house again and stayed over there... woke up LATE this morning but still made it into work on time... cuz I'm good like that.

oh yeah I have a wicked Ebay addiction... someone help me!

oh yeah again.... Him told me I was beautiful last night... awwwww compliments will get him far with me! LOL!

time to catch up

okay so let me rekindle my blog with what happened with the engagement. I was engaged to my right-after-high-school sweetheart. We were together from the time I was 17 until now... 8 and a half years later. we were supposed to be getting married this September... a chick done bought a dress and errything. well a few months after the engagement, the fiancee (lets call him hotsauce) started acting strange. By strange I mean very introspective, we lost our communication and we lost some of the spark just from falling into the routine of everyday life. I would try to talk to him and see what was on his mind but he would always answer with a "nothing" or "i'm fine". Finally, it got to the point where I just straight out asked him was he ready to get married and I told him I would understand if he wasn't. But he insisted that he was and that he wanted to marry me so we continued with our plans. The next thing that started happening is some random chick kept calling him... now I like to be a trusting person so i didn't think too much of it. We were having small problems but nothing worth breaking up over so I realized there must have been something bigger under the surface. I tried talking about what I was feeling to no avail. Now womens' intuition is real and I am not stupid but I didn't want to believe that our 8 year relationship was over just because Hotsauce needed to see what else was out there but it was. the thing that finally pushed me to leave, is that one day I paid the electric bill and when I checked our joint balance, we were short by like $100 so I asked him about it and he WENT OFF on me... when I say went off I mean WENT OFF basically accusing me of stealing "his" money. Now I was so hurt because #1 I am not a thief and 2 he is a teacher so I covered all the bills all by myself at least two months out of the year when he wasn't getting a regular check. So how could he come at me over a budgeting mistake. I had to leave.... that was on top of everything else that was happening and I will not be direspected. so I left and stayed with my cousin thinking we just needed time apart to clear our heads and work things out. Now imagine the blow when I find out 10 days after I left he was dating the chick that was calling him. 10 days later. after 8 years together and with more than half my ish still in the house we bought together. then to rub salt in the wound he changed the locks but still wanted us to "date" to "find that spark again".... how about HELL TO THE MUTHA EFFIN NO! thanks. This was almost 3 months ago and I am starting to become accustomed to singledom... I am happy that all this happened now and not after we were married... but it still hurts. However, I have been dating a new gentleman who I like... we are taking it EXTREMELY slow because we both came out of bad breakups and don't want to rush into anything. There are some details missing out the story but that is the short and sweet of it. I am on to bigger and better things...

wtf happened to my life??

I have always had a plan for my life... i knew where I would be and what I would be doing at any given age. I've been planning since the 8th grade. now 85% of the things I planned back then did not happen (go figure) but i still had a satisfying life. I was (yes WAS) engaged, had a decent job, friends, family.... a life. So since the last time I posted waaaaaaaay back in October, I am no longer engaged, basically homeless, me and my bestest friend diddy have parted ways (we'll call it irreconcilable differences for now) and Verizon is trying to play me on this sales gig I am trying to get. But strangely with all that, I am still happy, and looking forward to what the future holds... I feel like I am starting over. re-inventing myself. life is full of possibilities... but being single still sucks :o)
there is way too much to talk about to try to squeeze it all into this one post so I will go topic by topic... starting tomorrow! LOL!

First things first... me and my fellow pisces friend Dee had an 80's party for our b-day... it was lots of fun.. we made loot bags to give out and had a care bears cake!! I'll post pics when I find them...