Soooo apparently I am dope. I always thought so, but others are starting to see it too. Heh heh heh…
It’s nice to be complimented from time to time. It’s nice when someone “gets” you. It’s nice when it’s someone totally unexpected…
I don’t have too many regrets in life. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and even the worse situation can be a learning experience, therefore, not something to regret. HOWEVER, I have a pit in the bottom of my stomach right because of a conversation I had last night.... which, ironically enough, I regret having.... Uhhhhhhhhg torture….. I feel naked, exposed, vulnerable, silly…. I’m not even gonna go into too much detail but I have got to figure out how to feel better about this. Long story short, I bared my thoughts, feelings, emotions … still not sure why… I wasn’t looking for advice... there was no desired outcome... And I don’t feel better now that it’s out there. I feel worse. I’m tired and cranky and annoyed. I am ready to move forward with my life though. Of that, I am certain. I am tired of being stagnant emotionally, of barely moving an inch in any direction. I have to pick a direction and go for it. Full speed ahead. No stopping… do not pass go, do not collect $200… I am serious. Makes me want to just pick up and leave everything behind but I know that is not the answer. I actually feel a little bit better now that I typed this… even though it probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone but me. Yeah I feel a little better… maybe the tide is turning afterall…
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2 comments:
I hate when I get judged by someone who doesn't care enough about themselves to care about my issues...that's the best thing to evaluate when you share and open up emotionally. The only time you can do that safely is when you really know and trust someone. I only do that with two people outside of my mom...and one I've known for 7 years, the other a little over 3...so I dunno. I'm really sorry that you had that happen...I'll tell you this though; just don't think everyone is like that. Your heart will guide you in the right direction.
Putting everything on the table is often therapeutic. I hope the bottomless pit is filled up with hope, renewal, and love. Some people are a little numb emotionally (for a variety of reasons) and are not capable of handling certain things. It is also a fact that many people operate (in affairs of the heart) on a strictly emtional level. In other words there has to be an "IT" factor for things to work out. YOU KNOW what I mean. You meet somebody who give you butterflies and you cant think about anyone or anything else. Sometimes it's not quite butterflies and that's not quite the same!! No matter what you do, you can never compensate for "IT". Don't feel a certain type of way about anything....just know that open and up front is the best way to be...no matter the outcome.
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