I realize that I am really getting old... okay so 26 is not actually OLD but I feel old. I am just not interested in the BS anymore. Friday night I went out to old city (a section of Philly with lots of bars/clubs) and drank a pitcher of margarita (on the rocks-no salt) and this was after drinking half a bottle of zinfandel so needless to say, I was happy. now had this been a few years ago I would have been going bar to bar dancing my lil butt off but now that I am old, I was perfectly content to go home and go to sleep! however, i was with young heads so I ended up doing the bar hopping thing. at this hole in the wall called Drinkers, there was this drunken white boy who looked like he stepped off of a j crew catalog and was more than a little bit drunk who bought me a drink and so I danced with him... WHYYYYYYY did he try to grab the tatas.... why why why.... well I know why... he was pissy drunk and they are unavoidable... see....


I didn't get mad though... I just pushed him off and laughed and told him he wasn't ready for all these goodies!

so saturday the weather was FANTASTIC and a guy that I work with called me to invite me to a bbq/party. I agreed to go and my 20 year old sis was with me. we picked up another girlfriend and headed over there.... bad idea. first of all... the three of us walk in and ALL EYES were on us... in my head I heard a needle scratch across a record as all noise came to a stop. that's not really what happened but that is how it seemed. everyone in there was smoking... and I ain't talking about newports... and we were seriously amongst a bunch of birds... i literally felt like I had just walked into a scene of "the wire". that shyt looked like "Hamsterdam" minus the geedies (camden term for crackhead) but not necessarily the crack. as much as I hate to assume and sterotype, them ni99as was sho nuff on they hustle. now I am from the hood... raised in Camden which is supposed to be the most dangerous city in the nation, but my first instinct was to turn and leave. But then I spotted W.P. Clucker's ex-best friend (the one that put w.p. clucker's husband's business on BLAST)and as childish as it is, I had to stay to just to annoy her! LOL! I put my life in jeopardy to annoy a chicken... but I am woman enough to admit I was being petty. it was funny though!! but on the real, I am not beat to sit in a house full of ni99as smokin weed and drinking... I just don't need to do that. so I went outside to sit on the step and get some fresh air b4 leaving. Somehow, I ended up in an hour long convo with this young boy... he was only 2 years younger than me but I say young boy because his mentality was that of a 18 year old. He was saying that he HAD to hustle because he didn't finish high school so he is already labeled a criminal. I was trying to tell him he didn't have to put himself in that box society has for him. he can do something with himself. I told him I didn't want to see him in jail or worse dead. I think I was getting through... from our conversation it seemed like no one had ever told him he had an option b4. I can't believe that is true but that is how it seemed. My hour with him really did disturb me. I have been thinking about him ever since, because I really want him to make it. like normally, I would be like eff it, it's your life but for some reason I really feel like i need for him to make it. I don't know if he will and I may never see him again but I am hoping for the best.
anyways, it's monday... got to get to work... bah humbug