Sunday, April 27, 2008

spiders.... YIKES!

I am terrified of spiders... like i can not deal with them at all. I hate beetles and ants too but spiders are what i am sho' nuff afraid of. Not sure why... there are just too many legs and eyes and what not. i happen to live in a very wooded area so there are plenty of creepy crawlies including spiders. this wouldn't be so bad except that my roommate is scared of spiders too. anyway on my way home from work, roomie calls me and tells me that there is a spider the size of her fist on my bedroom wall. she said she was walking past the door and saw it on the opposite wall out the side of her eye. so i told her to kill it and she said she couldn't. so i was like ok i can handle it. I stopped at home depot and bought the biggest can of spider killer i could find. it said it killed on contact too which was good. I got home and the damn spider was still on the wall chillin. it was ginormous!! i was frozen at the door. couldn't move... could not get any closer. roomie gave me a pep talk and said she was right behind me and told me i could do it. so i inched my way in, can in hand, ready to kill this em-effer. i stepped on the bed so i could get close enough to spray it. I started spraying and that bastard JUMPED off the wall... since when do spiders jump? I jumped off the bed and made for the hills! i ran out the room screaming the whole time. roomie failed to mention it was a ninja spider well versed in the black arts... where was roomie you ask? good question... i thought she had my back but when that thing jumped, she was out the room before me! LOL! then she came back and was like you have to kill it! come on lets go back, you can do it. so i pumped myself up... telling myself i am bigger than the spider and it can't hurt me. meanwhile, a vision of a gang of ninja spiders coming out from under my bed and attacking me to avenge their fallen brethren was running through my head. i went back in and sprayed THE BEJEEZUS out that spider. half a can gone! i won! but i am not beat to see another one anytime soon! i'm good on that one. i don't know about all that facing your fears stuff but i am NOT BEAT! I've been sleeping in the living room until i feel it is safe again. it is that deep.

penn relay weekend was a bust. it was cloudy and cool. rain here and there so i didn't bother going. i stayed home and on demanded the rest of season 2 of Dexter. I heart Dexter. my lil sis, the songwriter, (we'll call her tax lady since she works for the treasury) came down to go out sat night. i was all down to go but 1- i felt like crap and 2- my left hand felt like it was gonna fall off. so tax lady calls at like 10 p.m. and is like you sound like you are still asleep. which i was. so she starts giving me crap about never going out with her and blah blah blah. i had to shut it down. i felt like crap and my wrist felt like it was being gnawed of my arm by rabid ninja spider monkeys. i couldn't move my hand at all. had it wrapped up in a scarf because i didn't have an ace bandage and i didn't feel like spending a whole night in the emergency room. she got over it but then asked me could she borrow $20. n words.... she got to my house and i just gave her my mac card and told her go ahead and take $20 and just bring my card back. she was staying over my house so i also gave her my house key so i wouldn't have to let her in. she left around 11 and i went to sleep. exciting, right?
now for the annoying part. my cousin (code name: man whore) sent me a text at about 12:30 a.m. asking ... well i'll trancribe

man whore: where you at?
me: home
man whore: what you doin?
me: sleeping
man whore: oh i needed to borrow $50 til Monday. I can't get any $ off my card
me: well tax lady has my debit card so i can give it to you tomorrow
man whore: aw man i really needed it tonight

i didn't respond because what else was there to say. 1- i told you i was sleep, 2- i told you my sis had my debit card convo should have been over. what does this blackie do? he calls me... uhg.... convo went as follows

me: hello (in the sleep voice)
man whore: where is tax lady at?
me: out n-gga... what you want?
man whore: you don't know where she went? i really needed that money tonight
me: wtf? no i don't know where she is! she is out! at a club! i doubt she is gonna leave to go to a mac to get you money!
man whore: yeah i guess you are right, i just really...
me: (cutting him off) n-gga i am sleep and your beat? you sounding real crackheadish right about now. good night
*then i hung up*

is it me or is that some selfish inconsiderate ish? he was just trying to go out and do what he does best... whore... stay yo ass home if you ain't got no money but don't be harrassing me. i shouldn't have answered!

that's all for now...

oh and the new Harold and Kumar is pretty dang funny! the first one may be funnier but it was pretty hilarious!

2 comments:

Chris said...

So much to say...but somehow my wrist is hurting now...


Anyway, I had a "lady friend" that was and still is deathly afraid of spiders. I remember secret 12 am convos on the phone...which is as intimate as you can get for a fifteen year old that was still clutching his V-Card. My "lady friend"...let's call her Beloni, use to whisper scream and attack the spiders with Lysol. She figured if it killed germs, it could kill spiders...maybe it was one of those things where you just had to be there...

As for the broke negros...unless you need pennies for petrol, a dub isn't gonna do much for you...and sadly, not even $50. And if man-whore needs $50 to get some, maybe he isn't doing it right.

Anonymous said...

The nicknames are funny but thinly veiled so you might as well use the real names! You're better than me because I don't answer the phone for blackies. They always want something and aint never got nothing. Something from nothing is nothing....I digest...i mean digress....yes yes...i am the one with the hairy chest...from the east to west...i got that zest..like soap im clean...so dope and mean... I mean....oh forget it.....


The Arteest
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