i'm done

i sent Heart a v-day e-card... here is the response.


From: Heart
Sent: 02/13/2008 10:38 AM

To: Jirzy
cc
Subject
Re: A Hallmark E-Card from






I don't celebrate all of these pagan holidays, especially (Spendmoremoneyonthatchick Day)! Sorry, I know that makes me whatever it makes me, but I really don't indulge in all of these "retail" holidays, except for as it pertains to the precious, adorable, sweet, and sugary love of my life (daughter's name). My anti-holiday committee apologizes in advance for any inconvienience this particular policy may cause. I hope you enjoy the celebration of Spendmoneyyoudonthaveonsomen***awhodamnsuredontdeserveand/orappreciatethatshit Day.



From: Jirzy
02/13/2008 11:22 AM

To: Heart
cc
Subject
Re: A Hallmark E-Card from





true... i figured as much BUT that card was funny and more importantly FREE!!!
so get a grip...
why does it have to be spendmoremoneyonthatchick day??
why can't it be designateddaytoshowsomeoneyoucareaboutthemsinceyoutendtoforgetwiththestressofeverydaylife day
and i try to surround myself with n-ggas that would appreciate a sentiment... maybe not doing such a good job huh



From: Heart
02/13/2008 11:34 AM

To: Jirzy
cc
Subject



You shouldn't need a day on the calendar be it Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Valentines day to act like you care about people. The fact that someone cares about me on Valentine's day rings real hollow with me. There are 365 opportunities a year to really show someone you care. Like I've always said, a simple gesture that is not tied to the pagan calendar means a lot more than the normal its such and such a day so let me do something........that's all....and stop taking stuff personal. I told you about me a long time ago. I have my eyes on a much bigger prize and my distraction factor has to be near zero right now. This is a CRITICAL time in my life and I have to stay the course. So far, so good.



From: Jirzy
02/13/2008 11:38 AM

To: Heart
cc
Subject
Re:



i agree showing you care should definitely not be limited to any particular day... but not everyone is naturally affectionate and not everyone is good at expressing how they feel... so there is nothing wrong with designating a day to make sure you remind someone they are important.
i'm not taking it personal but just as you voiced your opinion, i am voicing mine. that's all!!
i don't get the distraction comment though so please clarify...

ok so then i got annoyed and sent this


From: Jirzy
02/13/2008 11:51 AM

To: Heart
cc
Subject
Re:


i changed my mind... no need to clarify on the distraction factor comment.
i'm glad you are staying the course. i wish you the best... as i'm sure you know.
i hope everything works out for you...


I can't stand it... yes i did take it personal because it's not that deep... just say thanks for the card
uhg... i realize pms may have a big part to play in my annoyance but i am officially done and he get's deleted....


wtf??

eff you--- pay me

When i was dealing with too short, i loaned him some money to get him out of a situation. so we had this long discussion ahead of time about him making sure he pays me back or else i would call the goons (aka my cousins) on him. Long story short he would pay me a little here and there... and when i say a little i mean a little... a few months had gone by without a payment so i called, got no answer, sent a text, got no reply, sent another text. then the next day i was bombarded with texts from him saying that he loves me and just because we don't speak doesn't mean he doesn't think about me... foolishness... and after the 5th text. I emailed him the following. *names removed of course* lol





________________________________From: jirzygurl
Sent: Wed 1/23/2008 12:59 PM
To: Too short
Subject:
there is so much i want to say and even though it's probably not gonna amount to anything i have to get it off my chest. pretty much you saying you still care about me or whatever means nothing because if it were true, i would be paid by now. i'm not even sweating the exact amount because it is not that deep. If you paid me the majority i would let the rest go. I am upset because i feel like you are not even trying. I loaned it to you because i cared about you and i knew you were struggling but i also loaned it thinking i would get it back once you started working.. 2 septembers ago... so excuse me if i don't believe all your flowery words but it just seems convenient that you still care about me when i am asking about my money. It just doesn't seem genuine and in all honesty, it doesn't even matter whether i care about you or you care about me. I have moved on. i feel like you just completely take me for a fool. i may be emotional and i may do too much for people at times but i am not an idiot. i am not just gonna swoon over you saying you still love me and be like oh ok forget about the money. niceness does not equal naivete. please don't try to play me.




"Too Short"
01/23/2008 01:24 PM
To Jirzygurl
cc
Subject
RE:
wow, thats a lot of words. I never meant for us to meet,use you, and then spit you out. Unfortunately thats what it seems you are saying. Im not trying to sweet talk you or hide the fact that there is still money to be given, So I wont say anything anyfurther. I truly apologize for any hurt that you may still be feeling, Ive given you money so the efforts have been there its just when things get a little troublesome Ive stopped. Thats not your concern so Regardless of the fact, You want your money and I want you to have it so I will start sending again.so thanks for the address. God Blessyou

From: jirzygurl
Sent: Wed 1/23/2008 2:02 PM
To: too short
Subject: RE:
i know it's a lot of words but i did feel like it needed to be said. of course i don't want to think the worse about you and i think i gave you the benefit of the doubt for a long time but there just appears to be a pattern. i can only go by what i see and as much as i may want to believe you are sincere i just have a hard time believing that. i'm sure if you looked at the situation from my point of view, you would understand where i am coming from


Too Short
01/24/2008 01:11 PM
To: Jirzygurl
cc
Subject
RE:
From my point of view, I am happy that I met you, I dont regret the time we shared, I pray for you and your happiness, and I hold no anger at all because you were great. I think you are a great person and deserve to be happy. Unfortunately you have a bad taste or thought about me, my interest,my purpose or how I handled things. However, I try to understand and review our relationship and I keep coming up with the same thing. My intentions we're sincere.

my nigga moment

I ran out of gas for the first time in my life. it was funny. well maybe not funny but there is some humor to be found in every situation, right? anyway, I was rolling down the highway, steady talking on the phone, completely not paying attention... and my car (well my brother's car that i am borrowing) started slowing down and then came to a complete stop. i was able to make it over to the shoulder and i would have probably cried but my friend i was on the phone with assured me i could get road side assistance. so i called emergency and let them know the situation. a state trooper comes up and tells me roadside assistance stops working at 9 so i either had to find someone to bring me some gas or he was gonna have to call a tow truck. soooo i tried my friend i was on the phone with but she was 45 minutes away. I tried my roommate but she was an hour away... i tried my roommates brother and he was also an hour away so i swallowed my pride and called Heart... yeah well he definitely helped me out... came to my rescue. but was not at all pleased about it. i really feel bad but i was not paying a tow truck. but i hate being vulnerable or having to ask for help. but i definitely learned my lesson and will be checking the fuel gage much more frequently.

i have to go get ready to go to a b-day party. i am not beat but i feel obligated to go because it is for my god-daughter's mom......... i am feeling a tad anti-social.
if anything interesting happens, maybe i'll blog about it.


***update***
i really don't feel like going to this party... uhg
and i have a question.
Why am i disappointed with an outcome i was expecting?? i mean since i was expecting it, wouldn't that negate the whole disappointment part? i guess not....

yall this happens to me quite often which leads me to believe it's gotta be me. something is missing that keeps me repeating the same decisions with different faces.. ya know...

i hate that i even care. double uhg...

ALSO... i'm so glad some of my blog family is still out there. i am trying to see what i missed in 2007. jenny, can't wait to see what's been going on with My and everything else,
kiesha.. my pennsylvania pal. i always enjoyed you... gotta catch up.
g.cornelius... i need to see an "i'll keep you posted" in my comments ASAP!
jilly where did you go??? i NEED a dose of your poetry... like NEED... can i get a haiku or something??? argh
nona get back to work blogging!!!
jules???
chris???? how is the baby? where are you in cyberspace???
a.?? come back!

When the Liz is in the house... OH MYGOD

so it's been a year... wow... so much has happened! I am still single... I am still at Verizon on my Sambo... I did finally get a room mate.... uhm.. so i'll elaborate on each one.

ok lets start with the singledom. i am still single and i still don't like it. I am not built for this. In all honesty, i can't stand dating but i like going on dates if that makes any sense. too short got cut off. it was a warm night in may and i cold busted him at a local sports bar with some chick. COLD BUSTED! and he was trying his darndest to act like he wasn't with her as she is all up in his face. so i just stood by and watched him squirm and when the chick leaves, he comes over to me talking about can i talk to you for a minute. yeah... how about no. so that was the end of that.

i did meet a young dude. 25... only 2 years younger than me. and he is cool. we still talk/kick it from time to time but he is a young dude and he does what young dudes do. irk me... he was trying so hard to be deep and i am like baby i am a grown woman. it is not that serious. sooooooooo he's not cut off cuz we are still cool but it will never be anything more than that.

i have a friend... this one is the one i care the most about. and he doesn't want to be in a relationship. which is definitely understandable and i am cool with that even though i heart him. (so we'll call him heart in this blog)

ok so on to work... verizon is paying black people. they make you earn every penny BUT in the year and a half that i have been in sales, my salary has tripled and i have gotten crazy perks. 2 tv's, a laptop, 2 digital cameras, countless gift cards, bakeware, mp3, all types of stuff. I love that company but i hate the customers. Please do not call the phone company about .10 cent on your bill. verizon is not stealing from you. the charges are legit. and if you get me on the line you are likely to be banged on. be forewarned.

my room mate situation is great. i am actually rooming with Heart's cousin. we are mad cool.. no beef. and we work together too. lol
we get along pretty great. and i was terrified of getting a roommate. we call ourselves apple scrapple. i'm apple she's scrapple.

hot sauce (the ex) is still married. Heart once asked me when was i going to get over him... who knows. i really think i am over him now because i can talk about the situation without being hurt or mad. i actually find humor in it now. But i think what a lot of people fail to realize i still mention him because he was a HUGE part of my life... Christ I was with the dude from the age of 17 to 26. long time. basically my whole adulthood.

only other thing new... blue steel... my car (it's a passat not a jetta) died,
so now i have my eye on an acura tl.

oh yeah and i am singing much more. i am actually directing my church choir (NO IDEA how that happened but i can't quit no matter how hard i try). and i am singing with another choir. I love to sing though and although i have stage fright, the Lord is dealing with me in that area.

this post is probably a mess but it is 1:52 in the morning, my eyes are crossing, and i have a slight migrain.

i'll try again. I promise not to disappear for a whole year again! LOL!