Traffic Court and Rotten Coochies

I had traffic court this morning... this is the 15 millionth time I've been to traffic court and every time I see some crazy people. Even though I've to traffic court in every municipality/township/boro in NJ, believe it or not, I'm not actually a bad driver (you know everyone thinks they are a good driver). I always get pulled over on some bullshyt.... you know some type of technicality (uhm like technically my license is suspended but it was suspended on some bullshit so I should be allowed to drive... or technically I don't have insurance but my car is worth a dollar and some envelopes and if I get in an accident I'm leaving the scene like my name is OJ so do I really need it? LOL) see technicalities! anyway I had to go to court for driving on a suspended license which was suspendended for not paying my insurance surcharge which I got for driving without insurance! LOL! I drive an old ass `92 toyota celica and in Jersey, if you drive a toyota older than a `99 you are gonna get pulled over just on some GP shit. I am the only person I know that has actually gotten pulled over for my insepction sticker being 10 days late. my inspection sticker expired in Jan and I got the ticket on 02-10. The man beside me in court had 1 tooth... 1 rotten, lonely, decrepid tooth. he smelled like he had one tooth. his gums were on some other ish. and speaking of smells... I don't know if everyone remembers the girl from my training class with the rotten cooch. well diddy and I have nicknamed her pungent pussy or p2 (p squared- I couldn't figure out how to superscript) so anyway someone else finally smelled the stench that emanates from her nether regions... *shaking head* I can't believe it took this long for someone else to smell her. I mean she has good days and bad days.... the bad days are downright offensive. And I still don't have the heart to tell her. Reason is she is a nice person and I know she has self esteem issues. I just can't do it. and she sits a few rows behind me so I really don't have to smell her anymore. I just keep hoping someone else will tell her. I ahve more to talk about but I got to study this damn fiber optics stuff so until later.... PEACE, hair grease, yadda yadda...

you might see me in the streets but shorty you don't know me...

I am about to be 25 years old in a matter of days. Much too old to be tusslin' in the street like a common hood rat and yet there I was... It all started when my friend Diddy and I were at the local Jamaican spot getting some food. I was waiting for my little sister (who is 21) to get to Diddy's house so we could roll down to MD to my parents house. Anyway, my sister calls me crying on the phone saying that her boyfriend and possible baby daddy (she 4 months pregnant but was dealing with two dudes so she don't know who to claim and that is a whole other blog in and of itself) brought her to his ex-girlfriends house (who is also pregnant by him) for the ex to fight my sister. So I told her to walk to the nearest store and I was on my way to pick her up. I get there and she had a lump on her head, her arm were scratched up and she was obviously fighting. she said she was beating the other girl up and the boyfriend jumped in it to break it up and let the other girl catch her breath so that she could try to fight my sister again. Then the girl's cousin came out the house with a knife. The whole situation is ghetto as hell and while I recognize this, the older sibling in me couldn't let it be. Now I will be the first to admit that I have a temper problem and I wanted to locate the boyfriend and WHOOP HIS ASS!! So I had my sister show us how to get to the chicks house and I went over there trying to find the boyfriend when some random boy came out the house talking about he'll fight a girl and that bitch-ass actually squared up with me like I was a dude so eff it. I grew up fighting boys and I was ready for his ass when the boyfriend showed up so I turned my attention towards him and Diddy noticed 3 or 4 other boys came out the house to fight me. *sigh* these nukkas must not know my family is DEEP. now looking back I see that maybe I could have handled the situation in a more adult fashion but I'm from the hood and well quite frankly I wasn't thinking rationally cuz hood rule #1 is you DO NOT go to someone's crib to fight them. anyway I called 2 of my male cousins and somehow we ended up being 6 cars deep rolling back over there. so the same lil boy that came out the first time trying to fight me came out again talking about let it be a fair one and told one of his boys to fight my cousin.... my cousin effed that boy up and the one that wanted to fight me is steady in the background talking ish... my other cousin told him to shut the eff up and of course he had to say something back... *shakes head* he got his ass handed too him as well. Now I don't know where my lil sisters came from but one of the girls tried to jump in the first fight and my one of my lil sisters punched her in the face and started wailing on her then another chick tried to jump in fight number two so I took off at full speed to rush her and the broad saw me coming and ran... okay yall can't really tell in that pic but I am quite top heavy and when I said I went full speed ahead I mean I went full speed ahead (and did I mention my timbs were a tad big) well when she ran I tried to stop myself and well..... I busted my ass!! so here it is my whole family is whoopin ass and my opportunity to mollywhop someone was thwarted by large breast causing me to topple over... inertia is a bitch! I was so irked with myself. I'm laying in the parking lot of this apartment complex on my stomach MAD AS HELL! I jacked my knee up and didn't even get to hit the bitch. So I got up and this heffa was really gonna catch it now because I was extra extra irked. I finally located her and she actually started crying and saying she was just trying to break it up. so I had to turn my attention elsewhere and sure enough I seen like 3 girls on my two sisters (we locked the pregnant one in the car and had two other cousins watching her so no one would try to get her again and she wouldn't try to get back in it) so I went over there to help them and we were all tusslin when my parents... yes my mother and father showed up and got everybody to leave in the nick of time because as we were rolling down the street still six cars deep we saw the cops heading toward the complex we just left. So we all split up and reconvened at cousin that got in fight number 1's house. I am almost ashamed that we really did do it like straight ghetto style but I must say I did get satisfaction out of all those nukkas getting lumped up. the end result is my sister is pressing charges on the boyfriend and the ex-girlfriend so I'm sure there will be more developments to this story... I got to take me a nap now after all that. Later...

soft shoe-ing and shit

sooooooooooo it's been a while and well it feels good to be back... my little hiatus has officially ended and dangnabit I can't wait to get caught up on everybody elses blogs. As for moi, I have been at Verizon doing my best to assimilate to the crakkkas... now I know what you are thinking and well hell they are paying me every friday and they are paying for me to be certified in Fiber Optics so if they want me to dance I will DANCE like my name is Leroy! One of these days I will get around to talking about what happened to make me erase all my ish but today ain't the day because I don't feel like talking about all that. Other than pickin' cotton (sike washing dishes cuz we all know my light bright ass would be in the house) for massa, I've been wedding planning,my little sis managed to get knocked up her last year of college, and scrabble girl (you might remember her as the girl I had beef with over the baddest pair of pink BCBG 4" stilettos... sigh) is trying VERY hard to be my friend again... A little TOO hard if you ask me. I mean I literally tried to smack her in her own house (a ghetto no-no) and that alone is reason enough to never speak to me again. I am not beat to be friends again but there is a part of me that is extremely curious as to why she is so beat. My other friends think it's just because she has no other friends but I choose to believe she is trying to set me up because let's face it women are evil. yes that is a fact.
My b-day is the 19th and I can not wait... Grey Goose and cranberry here I come!! Although I must say lately I have been partial to mind erasers and mojitos.
Chris Webber is officially a Sixer (all praises due to Allah). Iverson def needed some help. the boy dalembert ain't too shabby and the white boy Korver ain't too shabby neither but Chris Webber is a sexy chocolate mofo and I say we need to keep him forever... and he is a Pisces like myself!
I know you all saw my Eagles get to the bowl then die... that's all I have to say about that.
I know I am all over the place and I do apologize... I will get my thoughts together and try again later!
I feel like a damn crack head back on the pipe!!
oh yeah and does anyone else in the world watch Carnivale on HBO besides myself?? It is about to go down in a major major way!!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack

I am finally back on the scene... no time to update now but tomorrow it is on like butter popcorn!! so til then folks...